


Wham! makes great elevator music

by rocket_rach



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019), Catwoman (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, and sometimes - Freeform, because you want to meet carmen sandiego, he does it because he also wants to meet her, im starting to ship these two hardcore, mentions of Ancient civilizations, player is also mentioned, sometimes, you get ur rich ex boyfriend to steal a certain object
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 07:30:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17845070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocket_rach/pseuds/rocket_rach
Summary: Gotham city's most notorious thief may have convinced her ex boyfriend to buy a certain object so she could meet Carmen. May have.





	Wham! makes great elevator music

Gotham City was not a city Carmen had been to before. It was so corrupt, so crime ridden that not even V.I.L.E. had attempted to infiltrate it. But Carmen also thought that was also due to the legend of the Batman. She had yet to meet the Dark Knight but, the night was young, and she was about to break into Wayne Enterprises; which he seemed to be awfully protective of. Carmen stood at the intersection of Morrison and Finger, where the main entrance for WE sat. Cabs rolled past and ignored her. Because downtown closed at five pm, and anyone still in the downtown area after dark was just asking to get mugged or was probably working for Gotham’s unique rogues gallery. She adjusted her red hat against the wind, her brown waves blowing across her face.

Bruce Wayne probably didn’t mean to take an ancient Cahokia artifact. He seemed like a vapid airhead who cared deeply about charity and the people in his city. But the fact remained that this item had to be returned to its rightful place at the Cahokia mounds in Illinois. Player had a plane booked, and Ivy was waiting on the tarmac for her. All that remained was for Carmen to take it out of WE’s formidable security.

She headed towards the glass skyscraper. From the glass doors, she spotted two grey outfitted security guards patrolling the lobby. No doubt, Gotham’s white knight probably had guards on each floor. She fired her grapple gun at a neighboring building, landing on the roof quietly. From her vantage point, she could see the 32nd floor. The floor to ceiling glass windows granted her to see the lasers that crisscrossed every office and hall on that floor. Player had tried hacking into WE’s security system, but it had been so advanced, so tightly defended and well designed that it stumped him. Carmen was on her own tonight. She couldn’t help but smile at the challenge. But first, she crouched. She had to lose her tail she’d gained.

Carmen dove off the roof. She fired her grapple as the dumpster she’d aimed at became just a bit too close for comfort, then swung onto a fire escape. She peeked around the rim of her hat. There. Her tail was a woman, in a slim, skin tight suit. With what appeared to be cat ears on her head. She sighed. Looked like the local furry population had finally caught wind of her. Player had told her about how infamous the local furry cryptids were, and how they managed to apprehend everyone who wasn’t living in Gotham and send them on their way. She ascended the fire escape, rolling onto the roof. A whip cracked, and her hat was gone.

“You’re a long way from V.I.L.E.,” The woman with cat ears spoke. “Shadowsan was right. I hate it when he’s right. Why are you here, Carmen?”

“You have me at a disadvantage,” Carmen spoke softly. 

“The cat ears aren’t enough? Do you want me to holster the whip so I have a tail? I didn’t bring any of my cats with me. Poor Bast found a rat last night.”

“I’m just surprised Catwoman would want anything to do with me. I thought the other one would at least be the one to get me,” Carmen spoke. She leaned down, picking her wide brimmed hat off the roof. “What can I help you with?”

“Please, one thief to another? It’s Selina. I assume you want something inside of Wayne’s giant monument to his dick. I also want something in there. From the way that you’re stalking it, I think you’re stumped by his security system. I think that mystery person you’ve been talking to in your ear is stumped, too. I think you need me.”

“What do you want in there?”

“What he stole from me,” Selina said cryptically.

“Some thief.”

“I could say that about _you_.” Catman smiled.

“I’m thief that steals from thieves,” Carmen walked towards the edge of the roof. “I was trained by villains and taught to believe that stealing was a victimless crime. But I learned very quickly that it wasn’t truly victimless. I learned that—”

“You’d get along great with Batsy,” Selina interrupted. “You both love to monologue about your lives and justice. You could be his kid.”

Carmen rolled her eyes, turning back to Selina. 

“Now, c’mon. We’ve got some thief justice to enact. Fun fact about WE security, the command computer is perched on the very roof of the building. I guess his logic was ‘It’s the tallest building in Gotham, nobody but Batman goes up there.’ Wayne is sort of a dumbass. Anyway, race you to the top?” With that, Catwoman snapped her whip and vanished up the roof.

Carmen pointed her grapple and fired it just a tad more carefully. That meant she arrived on the roof just in time to watch Selina type something on a computer screen. It flashed red for a moment, then illuminated the two of them in green. She winked at Carmen and promptly peeled back a grate.

“After you!”

Carmen crawled into the vent. “You mentioned Shadowsan earlier. How do you two know each other?”

“Caught me trying to steal a cat statue in Japan. We got to talking about wayward strays and what do to with little ones. He didn’t say as much, you know how talking in code is; but I had a feeling he was talking about you. It would have been about sixteen years ago. He said he had this two-year-old… person. At least I assumed it was. I told him that the best thing he could do was protect you. Guess he followed my advice. Go left here,” she sprayed some mist to Carmen’s right. Invisible lasers appeared. “Wayne’s a bit paranoid.”

Carmen stopped as the vent dropped down. “Going down?”

“My favorite,” she responded.

They dropped down the vent, arms and legs slowing their descent. Finally, Carmen’s feet landed silently on the steel floor of the vent. She rolled far enough down the vent, so Selina could make her landing. Carmen looked up. They were inside an elevator shaft. How Selina knew which floor the elevator was on picked at Carmen’s mind; but who was she to deny help in one of her capers?

Selina got to work, unscrewing the exit grate on the top of it. She pocketed each screw, placing it in some invisible pockets on her costume. It moved silently and soon they dropped into the mirrored box. Carmen leaned against the wall, watching as Selina pressed the 32nd button. The muzak was still playing softly as they went down.

“Is this _Wham!?_ ” Carmen asked.

“I think Wayne’s small militia of children is responsible for that. This is his personal elevator- which means no cameras. We’ve still got a few floors to go, so why don’t you tell me what you want from him?”

“He has an Cahokia artifact. It’s… worth a lot of money, but it’s worth more to the memory of the Cahokia people. V.I.L.E., wants it to auction it off. I can’t let that happen.”

“Cahokia?”

“They were a tribe of Native Americans who lived near what’s now St. Louis. They built massive mounds and had super complex societies pre-Columbus. It was abandoned around the 14th century, and nobody is sure why. It was never resettled. But still. It’s a part of that area’s history. It doesn’t deserve to sit in some billionaire’s building or home.”

“You’re a real bleeding heart, you know that?” Selina commented.

“Shut up,” Carmen fired back.

“Definitely Shadowsan’s kid,” She hummed as the elevator doors opened. 

Both thieves paused by the doors, taking in their surroundings. There were no guards around, which could mean they were on their way, or they had just left. Selina pointed to her right and Carmen spirited off, her shoes moving noiselessly across the tile floors. She looked back at Selina and found that she had vanished into the shadows. 

Player had given her floorplans once they were inside the building, which were extremely helpful as she crept around corners and ducked by wide windows. Right as she reached the office where the artifact was held, a shadow caught her eye. She looked through the window.

A very large man covered in a long back cape and a wearing a two eared hat was sitting on the building across the road from her. He lifted his hand in a wave, then promptly jumped off the building and vanished. Behind him, a younger looking guy was flipping after him and two teenagers seemed to be racing each other.

She couldn’t get out of this city fast enough.

Carmen retrieved the artifact without any more fanfare. She met Selina by the elevator. Catwoman’s pockets were bulging, a few $50 bills dropped on the ground around her feet. Carmen met her eyes.

“It’s called taxes. Listen, you’re on your own for getting out of the building. I know the bats saw us, so I would recommend you going up to the roof first. He has his own way of dealing with me. It was nice meeting you, Red.” 

Selina winked, then promptly pushed Carmen into the elevator. The whole ride up, Carmen replayed the events of the evening. She was trying to understand just _when_ her life had become so goddamn weird. 

The red-dressed thief decided she wouldn’t be coming back to Gotham City any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> barely edited, and im so sorry


End file.
